Experimenting with twitpics over on twitter. Yes, I'm goofing off a bit this afternoon. Back to the grindstone in a few minits.]]>
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All good wishes to you ~ Susan
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And over one more set of hills,
along the sea,
the last roses have opened their factories of sweetness
and are giving it back to the world.
If I had another life
I would want to spend it all on some
unstinting happiness.
I would be a fox, or a tree
full of waving branches.
I wouldn't mind being a rose
in a field of roses.
Fear has not yet occurred to them, nor ambition.
Reason they have not yet thought of.
Neither do they ask how long they must be roses, and then what.
Or any other foolish question.
~ Mary Oliver
Foolish questions, indeed, but impossible for most not to ask. How long will I be here? What happens when this candle of "self" is snuffed out. then what?
The subject of impermanence sweeps me back to my third year of grade school. Unable to fall asleep one night, I began contemplating the Universe in all its vastness. Soon, my mind was swirling in a vortex of unanswerable questions and suffocating mystery. If the world has an end, then there must be a beginning, but if that's the case, what exactly was here before that? If the Universe ends at some definable point in space, then what lies beyond that? Emptiness? Death? Nothingness?
Perched inside God's balance, the song within my heart grew ever so small. How could it not? I was just a little girl standing in front a mountain of doubt and uncertainty that every human being before me had found incomprehensible and insurmountable, at least with the intellect, that is. There was no Horton hearing Whos in my bedroom that night - no comical elephantine presence whispering reassurances while the darkness weighed heavily upon my Peanuts Gang bedspread. Gasping for air, I decided it was just too scary for someone as tiny as me to figure out, and right then and there on the verge of my head exploding I decided I'd reserve such inquisitions for when I was an all-knowing grown-up - after all, I had my childhood to attend to. Certainly by the time I was 33, the answers would arrive, as they had for my parents.
A decade has passed since my 33rd year, and to be honest, my 40 plus years have done nothing to satisfy my need to know the meaning of everything, or for that matter, anything. There have been periods when I've thought I've known all the answers, but each was followed by some unexpected change or upheaval which proved my limited, boxed-in, protective viewpoints severely lacking. I identified myself first as an "atheist," then as a "Christian," followed by "Agnostic" - I've come very close to adopting the label of "Buddhist" over the last few years, but maybe the labels are confining, presumptive, easily misunderstood by others, and limiting. The longer I live, there is less I seem to know. The longer I live, the less I am convinced there is much I need to know, aside from the felt experience through the senses in this present moment. Life is a mystery. I'm a follower of the church of I No Longer NEED to Know, also known as The Church of Letting Go.
I know there are many who would judge my position as a kind of giving up - a sort of nihilism. I suppose people standing in my spot have and will slip into such unfortunate delusions, but a life revolving around a central theme that there is something inherently wrong with the way things are - the way WE are - sets the struggling up for failure. I wonder how much of our collective striving is born out of a mistaken view of our inherent insufficiency. The Church of Letting Go invites us to relinquish this and gently release the idea of self and other - yours and mine - every and any thing that calls into question the inherent sacredness and beauty of all living creatures. Like a rose opening its petals and extending the warm fingers of its fragrance to all who pass, may we all learn to open generously to each other - to find contentment with being a rose among many roses. After the fires of passion are over, when the embers of striving have burned out, all that remains is love. It is all we truly are, and all we truly need.
]]>Found this over on RowdyKitten this morning.
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Let me introduce you to Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, who led the meditation retreat I attended last month in Lawrence, Kansas. A prodigy within the Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism, Mingyur has caught the attention of the world in recent years with a fresh, joyful (dare I say funny) approach to sharing the wisdom of the Buddha. I've come to the conclusion that laughter is a given when studying with Tibetans as they believe humor is a powerful antidote to our negative mind states.
Not long ago, the Dalai Lama asked Mingyur to partake in a scientific study conducted through The Mind LIfe Institute. fMRI scans (MRI scans that are like videos) were made of highly trained meditation masters to see how their brains differ than the average Joe's. They specifically were interested in measuring gamma waves, which our left frontal lobes emanate and are associated with feelings of well-being and happiness. When the researchers slid Mingyur into the fMRI and ran their first scan, the results they were getting were so unexpected they were sure something was wrong with the software. As the story goes, they pulled Mingyur out of the machine to double check everything and recalibrate, but when they slid him back in and ran the test again the scientists were even more astounded. Mingyur's scan revealed a brain they'd never seen before ~ one with gamma waves literally off the charts.
Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear something like that it inspires me to want off-the-chart happy brainwaves too! We all wish to be happy, don't we? It's not that important to me whether or reincarnation exists or not, this man has demonstrated direct, measurable, real-life results from a practice that works in this life, in the here and now.
I can whole-heartedly report after meeting him in person that his joy is genuine, his laughter, rea - his teachings filled with compassionate wisdom. I've also had the great pleasure of learning directly from his older brother, Tsoknyi Rinpoche, who is just as delightful, funny and wise as Mingyur is. These Tibetans manage to take their practice incredibly seriously without be overly serious, and I can't help but appreciate and admire them.
To take a look at his most recent book, click here.
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Upon waking I couldn't help but smile. Is what I create REAL? The sand painting... surely it was this Self I'm continually creating. It's easy enough to recognize my dreams aren't real, can I make the leap into the awareness that what I create in my "real" life is also transient, illusory, and free myself from its hold on me? Who am I? Is there anything to hold onto in this ungraspable world?
Image shot October, 2007 on Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts
~ Henry David Thoreau
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After several minutes shooting this incredible beast, she suddenly moved in close - so close, in fact, the autofocus on my wide angle lens couldn't keep up or accommodate. Just before losing my balance, I took this adorable snapshot. Just after, she landed a big fat sloppy KISS all over the lens!
"She LICKED my lens!" I exclaimed as I wiped a fair amount of goo off. I wonder if she was a dog in a former life, was curious, or just wanted to give me a good slobbering. A woman standing nearby had just commented on how this particular buffalo had taken a shine to me... moving closer and closer as I shot several pictures. Personally, I think she was totally messing with me and providing cheap, effective entertainment for the herd of bystanders (both human and furry).
Did I mention these buffalo were all surprisingly SMALL? They were all girls. Someone said the boys are much more burly and can be a tad obnoxious and prone to trouble-making. One of the most delightful scenes I witnessed on this retreat was the entire herd at play. After lunch they all just came barreling down from the woods into open territory. I never would have thought I'd see a buffalo "frolick" but one actually did. She skipped around as if there was so much energy inside her body couldn't contain it all. A spontaneous blurp of buffalo energy that seemed to signal playtime for the entire community - don't you just love it when that happens?
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... where seldom is heard a discouraging word, on retreat with the Buddhists all day.
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Happy Mother's Day, MOM! I know you'll LOVE this photo and wish you could have joined me on the retreat and hope you're feeling better.
An excerpt from the Medicine Card book:
Buffalo was the major source of sustenance for the Plains Indians. It gave meat for food, hides for clothing, warm and soft buffalo robes for long winters, and hooves for glue. The medicine of Bufflao is prayer, gratitude and praise for that which has been received. Buffalo medicine is also knowing that abundance is present when all relations are honored as sacred.
This symbolism mirrors the sacred giving of self my mother has embodied during my time on this earth. Giving so much of herself to me and my brother over the years and showing the way with her simple faith and kind spirit. Indeed, all relations are sacred, and without the sustenance and tender guidance of our loving mothers, there would be no hope in this world.
Give thanks for the blessings this precious life has to offer ~ Happy Mother's Day!
Note: Mother's Day e-cards are available at Banjo Bunny e-cards. DIVA Momma is my favorite!
Buffaloes are such noble, amazing creatures... especially when they're meditating. ;)
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More on mindful decisions....
Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.
Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.
Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people's questions,
don't let them
smother something
simple.
To find
another's voice
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.
Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don't follow
someone else's
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don't mistake
that other
for your own.
Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.
~ David Whyte
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The morning I shot these images, I was staying at Circle S Ranch, in Kansas for a retreat with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, (who totally rocks, btw.) The empty swing in the morning light was too tempting to ignore, so I padded down the hill behind the inn to meditate and have a swing before breakfast. It was one of those remarkable experiences when you recognize everything is stark raving perfect just the way it is. I felt so blessed and so at ease while savoring the view, the feel of my legs kicking back and forth beneath me, my fists wrapped confidently around the ropes of the swing as the sun pierced through the trees in front of me. The moment I sat on the swing I knew I was missing out on a fantastic photo op, but I also knew these were moments to be savored. This time without the camera was meant to be.
"The camera can just wait," I thought, "I have an appointment with LIFE morning, and I'm not about to miss it!"
Seriously, folks, it was just that PERFECT, sitting on the swing, feeling the cool air on my skin, the dew on the grass penetrating through my shoes and through my socks, sending a chill through my feet - the sunlight dancing off of every single blade of grass in front of me and if to say, "Come play with me!" Without a care in the world, I forgot who I was and everything that had mattered before I sat down in the magic swing that morning.
Finally, I meandered back to my room, retrieved the camera, and scurried back out to take these pictures.
Life is perfect just the way it is. If you don't recognize it, then maybe a retreat with Mingyur Rinpoche is in order!
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