« Previous | Main | Next »

Together Forever with These People

December 12, 2007

susan_preston_bus.jpg

Bus Ride, Shot by Rob White ~ Canon 30d

I attended a Lovingkindness retreat led by Sharon Salzberg this past weekend. She's a wonderful teacher, and her many years of metta practice ground her instruction in the authenticity of personal experience. This is the third time I've had the pleasure to sit with her, and I'm always struck by her authenticity, wit and kindness.

What does this have to do with a picture of me in the back of a bus, exhausted and experiencing aversion towards having her picture taken on the way back from Martha's Vineyard?

Well, during her talks, Sharon often tells the following story, concocted by friend and scholar, Robert Thurman*:

Imagine you’re in a subway and Martians come and zap the car you're riding in. The end result? You’re going to be together forever with these people.


F o r e v e r.

So.. what do you do in such a situation? What would be the best way to respond?

If they’re hungry, you’re going to feed them. If they’re freaking out, you’re going to calm them down. You do it because you’re going to be together forever. It's in everyone's best interest.

Thurman created this story to make a point ~ everything we do ripples out and what we do really matters, not only to ourselves, but to all beings.

As I look at the picture up there, I'm struck by how I'm comically hiding from the camera. The man sitting next to me was all smiles the whole way, and got a big kick out the whole picture-taking scheme. I'm guessing he understood the "my people" thing. All I wanted during the 1/125 of a second while the shutter burst open was to be off the darn bus and eating dinner. But... what if I couldn't get off of the bus? What if those were my people? What if I had been stranded with them for a lifetime? How would my reaction have been different? The photograph is comical, but I still have so much to learn of these things.

What bus am I riding on today? I'm interacting with wonderful friends, preparing for a holiday party, and responding to both the praise and blame of advent calendar visitors. Could all of these folks be my people? Is it okay for me to set boundaries? You bet it is. Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and the world is to say "no" more often. But without stepping back to pause for a moment, we can end up reacting instead of responding with wisdom. Sharon Salzberg's question, Could these be my people? is an interesting exercise to experiment with next time you're crammed on a bus or inside a crowded subway.

*If you ever have the chance to see Sharon or Robert talk, jump at it! They're wonderful, funny-smart teachers. The best book I've yet to read on Buddhism is Faith. Check it out here.

Posted by vincent at December 12, 2007 01:09 PM

Comments

i always like visiting your blogs.your thoughts on a variety of subjects interests me & i delightedly shared them with my officemates & they said they were learning from them too.thanks for such wonderful pictures & blogs.
-angie

Posted by: angie at December 13, 2007 05:43 PM

i always like visiting your blogs.your thoughts on a variety of subjects interests me & i delightedly shared them with my officemates & they said they were learning from them too.thanks fro such wonderful pictures & blogs.
-angie

Posted by: angie at December 13, 2007 05:43 PM