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Billy Goat Trail ~ Metta Blast 6

September 27, 2007

susan_preston_billygoattr.jpg

Billy Goat Trail ~ Canon 30d

Just a couple weekends ago, a good friend of mine took me on my first hike along the Billy Goat Trail, which is located just outside of DC on the Maryland side of the Potomac River. I must admit, the difficult portion of the trail is, well, difficult. Jagged rocks, which should only be reserved for the cloven-hooved among us, line much of the terrain to be covered, as well as a small cliff that must be scaled if one expects to receive her merit badge upon completion. Maybe "cliff" is an exaggeration, but from where I was standing with my stomach in my throat, "cliff" was the only reasonable description that came to mind. Despite my fear, I DID IT, and when the trail spit us back onto the tow path of the C&O Canal, I felt as though I'd left dumb-struck demons behind me on the drought-stricken shores of the Potomac River.

At the time of this picture, I was in the grip of what could have been a heart-killing upheaval in my life, so hiking the Billy Goat Trail felt as though all the metaphors spinning around inside of me were incarnating right in front of my eyes, and I was being called upon to physically tackle them. Half-way down the path there's a sign with a big arrow that says, "Emergency Exit". My friend Gabby said, "You can take it if you want, Susan. Are you up to this? We can stop if you want."

I spurt out, "NO way! Nothing's stopping me. Let's keep going!"

I have learned much through courageously and mindfully stepping through the window of anger that presented itself to me. Anger is always a secondary emotion, just as the person who triggers our anger is always the secondary cause. Anger is a mask for pain or fear we haven't dealt with, at least that's the conclusion I've come to through my own experience. Try it out for yourself and see if it sticks.

Sharing this with you doesn't phase me because we all have a lot to be pissed off about ~ hello, it's the 21st century. But, anger can be the most powerful teacher you'll ever learn from if you invite it to sit with you in an atmosphere of allowing, and compassionate, open-hearted listening. Asking the question, "Why are you here?" and hearing the answer, "You invited me, again. This time will you honor my lessons and learn from me?" can instigate profound shifts in one's understanding, turning on long-dimmed light bulbs populating the perimeter of our inner awareness.

Blame will get you nowhere. Why? Because it focuses your energy on "the other" and when you are in pain and suffering, the focus should be the one who deserves your love and attention more than anyone else in the universe ~ you. Buddha described anger as an illness, and when you are ill, you don't run away from your symptoms, you treat them with medicinal tenderness. Thich Nhat Hahn suggests that upsurges in our anger are like screaming babies within, desperately in need of lullabies of forgiveness, compassion and nurturing. If we sing a lullaby of lovingkindness and acceptance to this negative state of mind, anger transforms itself from a raging baracading beast of hostility into a window of transformation... a secret trail where only the bravest of billygoats with hearts as wide as a river will prevail.

Anger is a window. Don't be afraid to gaze directly into it, to be with it. Like the crest of a wave, it will peak, but if you quietly sit down to tea with your feelings and allow them to reveal their secrets to you, they will dissipate. The angels of darkness are horrifying when they come to visit, but they are angels nonetheless. Angels whose terrifying messages serve to cut into our ego and break us free from the pain and disappointments of the past.

Sit down, allow, befriend, and forgive. Say a prayer for your anger. The enemies who once haunted you will become treasured beacons of awareness, lighting the way on the Bill Goat Trail to freedom and happiness.

May all beings be peaceful
May all beings be happy
May all beings be safe
May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature
May all beings be free


Please say a prayer for the monks in Burma whose peaceful protests against their militaristic government are being met with anger and violence. They are a model of justice-driven consciousness for the rest of the world. This is the way freedom is born, it can only be captured by those who wish if for themselves, not through war and violence. Click here to find out more.

And, if you also could remember to vote for Banjo Bunny, I would truly appreciate it. Pixel Awards, click here.

Posted by vincent at September 27, 2007 06:22 PM

Comments

Thank you for your lesson, Susan. Sharing your pain and hurt has helped me learn about anger. I was also dismayed about the morning news that the monk's peaceful march os being met with guns and violence. They have already been in my prayers. Peace to you

Posted by: janet at September 27, 2007 05:23 PM

Sounds like you're healing big time and I'm happy for you. It seems strange to say that when a good friend is in pain, but doing what you have been doing ... inviting it in, is the only way through it. And yes, the monks are in my prayers. It's a hell of a world we live in. It is at once beautiful, peaceful and glorious; terrifyiing, agrifying and horribly dark.

Posted by: jzrart at September 27, 2007 07:43 PM

That photo is simply breathtaking Susan. Your comment about how anger is a mask for pain or fear we've not dealt with is so true. You should be so proud that you did not take that "emergency exit."

Posted by: jayne at September 28, 2007 06:32 AM