Enduring Love

Bravo, Susan. My husband and I will be celebrating our 41st wedding anniversary later this month. Keeping it going wasn't always easy, but we worked hard at it and it's been worth every ounce of struggle.

As the mother of a lesbian daughter, I am horrified by our government's response to gay and lesbian citizens of our nation. I cannot imagine what is so frightening to our "leaders." You'd think that gays and lesbians were terrorists. The work of our government should be the keeping of our country as a democracy where everyone is equal regardless of race, creed, color, or sexual preference. We need jobs for people who are hungry. We need a healthcare system that works for everyone. We need to clean up the air, the water and keep our planet alive and healthy. And we need to learn how to get along with others throughout the world and to keep the peace!

I too am so confused why this is so threatening to 'marriage' - I would think it's the crappy way they treat their wives that is far more threatening than if two committed homosexuals create a home together... like I've heard someone else say "focus on your own damn family"!

I truly hope this backfires and the ugliness of it all is exposed as the hatred that it is. Great post Susan, you're on a roll!

Why must we define love and happiness for everyone. If you love, and are happy, doesn't that just go around and around for everyone to share and smile and give....Why must goverments tell people how to love and be happy?
Love is hard enough without putting pre labelled tags of whowhatwherewhy andhow into it!

thank you Susan for posting about this, and Mom, for your wonderful response! with everything else that's going on in the world, this is what they chose to focus on... good grief. doesn't surprise me in the least, but it infuriates and terrifies me all at once. what hurts me personally the most is that they say they need to "preserve traditional marriage in order to protect our children."

Deena and i, who have been together for going on nine years and share a very deep commitment, have two wonderful, extremely well-adjusted children, and we'd do anything for them. almost everyone we know (even the "Bush people") respect and honor our family and see us struggling with the same day to day issues as any "traditional" family and hardly ever think of us as being different from them.

we know two couples who are engulfed in custody battles right now, and their children's behavior reflects the confusion and sadness they are inevitably feeling. who is protecting them?

who is protecting the baby wailing in her crib while her young mother is in the next room shooting up and her father is nowhere to be found?

and just as important, who (besides myself) is protecting children like mine from a ferocious government that dictates that they are baaaaad simply because they have two moms or two dads, and singles out these families as if we all belong locked up in cages in a zoo?

sorry, Susan... i could babble on and on about this. this is just one of those issues that digs down deep to the marrow and it's impossible to not take it personally. thanks for the opportunity to vent... :)

Lisa, no apology needed. You're expressing an honest opinion, and what you wrote doesn't sound disrespectful or long-winded to me at all. I'm really grateful you chimed in. We often hate what we do not understand. I hope this post leads to further understanding and love for each other. This is my goal.

Some of my readers became offended in my Da Vinci Code posts... interpreting my words as broad strokes that implicated large groups of people. I would have thought long-term viewers would have understood I am incapable of doing such a thing based upon established content on this site, but when one pushes a hot button, tempers do tend to flare. Therefore, I want to make it very clear that I do not believe ALL Republicans or ALL Christians fall into the self-righteous category I describe in this post. Sadly, many people DO fall into this pit, which is why I took out my hammer and tapped the nail on the head.

Why do we live in a world that requires such time-wasting disclaimers? Why is everyone just chomping at the bit to get riled up? I'm more than inquisitive about this.

While watching this marriage debate play out, I wonder as one of the children of divorce, and one who continues to carry the scars of my parents' marital failures, what the hulabaloo is about. My father has failed at 3 marriages, leaving 6 emotionally battered children in his wake, and the scars from those battles still affect how we behave today. It's sad, but so true. There is a decline in the success of marriage altogether in this country. So many children have suffered through the divorce of their parents, that it leaves them skeptical to accepting the validity or value of the institution of marriage at all.

Susan, while we may have divergent opinions on some topics, I have to stand with you here. The way I see it, Civil or Domestic partnership doesn't have to be about marriage or sexuality at all, but rather a real caring and commitment to one another's future happiness. It's all about giving rights to people who have committed themselves to one another.

Could you imagine for a second, if the hospital had not allowed Andrea to have access to me when I had my accident? As the only 'real' family role player in my life, I would have been a complete mess without her. But this is a reality to so many GLBT couples. While we're not a 'couple' in the gay/straight sense, we are commited to each other's future and well-being, and that makes us life partners in my eyes. With the level of lifetime commitment that those in the GLBT community have, I will never understand why people find their relationships so threatening when it seems like the level of love and commitment is more permenant than what most hetero-people I know will ever have.

Lauren,

'Tis true, as friends, we're very different, and part of this is due to being born in different decades, no doubt, and coming from very different and unique backgrounds. It's SO wonderful to see you post here again... even if it is to AGREE with me. (heaven's to betsy!)

*wink/smile*

Why do we live in a world that requires such time-wasting disclaimers? Why is everyone just chomping at the bit to get riled up? I'm more than inquisitive about this.

Hi Susan,
First of all -- I agree completely with what you said on all counts! My DH and I have anniversary #40 to celebrate next month and I can only wish everybody had that opportunity!

It seems to me that a lot of people don't know the difference between "convictions", "beliefs" and "opinions". It's easy to get riled up when you don't take the time needed to really understand and process things. That would require effort and a lot of folks don't go there.

IMO,
Peggy

Peg,

I think you're right about people not wanting to make an effort. I'd like to add to your idea with one of my own ~ I think the majority of us have become addicted to feeling offended, which could be why it feels so risky to express a definitive opinion about anything these days . It is also why our freedom of speech seems to be disintegrating from under our feet... at least that's how it feels here in Washington, DC.

Thanks for visiting and commenting~

amen! you may get some visits from the nasties over this one but know that i support what you're saying. i just don't get it either. of course my relationship with my partner is non-traditional so i get the judgement and shame too. i suppose that's why the concept of "traditional marriages" just irks me.

When I heard that Bush was tackling the gay marriage debate on a national level I really thought he had lost his mind. Your friends have said it all so well that I can only say, AMEN to their responses. Each person in America has the right to love whoever they wish to love and be legal in the eyes of the law. People who are against gays just don't understand about loving your neighbor and justice for all. FEAR is what drives them to think and do stupid things against other people. First it was women, then blacks, and now it is same sex marriage and abortion that enrages and why? Golly, some white married group might lose CONTROL of something . Bush has been trying to commit political suicide for four years now and I think he just pulled the trigger on this one. REVOLTING decision. Remember, a Constitutional amendment has to be passed on by the people. And the people are good. And the people are intelligent. Yes. Let's just love one another all of the time. It really is our duty to stand up for our friends and strangers in this country and make the Land of the Free just that.

my friend put it another, less poetic way. i couldn't agree more.

this whole thing simply saddens me.

I whole heartedly agree with you, Susan. I can't help but feel like this issue is basically the civil rights movement of the 60s. One day we're all going to look back on it and wonder how the hell we could be so hateful. History won't be kind.

Exactly, Susan. I sometimes wonder where all the anti-gay naysayers and their ilk get all the energy to froth and spew; they're like Dark Energizer Bunnies running on vitriol and hate.