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Lord of the Rings

April 05, 2005

My friend Andrea was a tad bored at work yesterday and emailed me her analysis of the Lord of the Rings and the subject of religion. I was highly amused, so here it is, with some of my own analysis as well.

Aragorn, a.k.a Strider, is Roman Catholic
Andrea is a Roman Catholic herself... it's no wonder to me that she decided the most handsome man on earth is Catholic as well – so she can marry him. Problem is, I want Vido, and she just can't have him.

Hobbits, possibly Episcopaleon
I think I saw Hobbits at the National Cathedral last week, so I think she's dead on with this one

Gandaulf and other wizards, obviously Druids
Totally.

The Elves are Mystic Jews

The people of Rohan are Irish Protestant (I'm leaning slightly towards Anglican becasue of the English influence)

The people of Gondor, High Lutherans (you can tell by how grumpy they are)
If you happen to be Lutheran, please be advised I do not take responsibility for the opinions of my buddies.

Now the Dwarves stump us. We're inclined to let them be the pagan representation, some kind of earth/natural worshippers. They're far too rough and rowdy and drunk to be Protestants.
I begged to differ (see reply below)

I really think that the Eye, the orcs and the Urukai are Dutch Reform. Lauren has vetoed this suggestion as she feel that they are the Devil and his worshippers-I really don't see the distinction...

 Your thoughts?
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I replied:
Perhaps I shall post this email on my blog... I'll protect your true identity of course.
So much for that.

The dwarfs could be Episcopalean OR Catholic since both drink lots of wine during and after the services. Have you ever seen priest finish off the holy wine that's left over at the end of communion? At the Episcopalean church I went to they seemed tipsy by the end of communion... although never very rowdy... uh.. okay, so the dwarves are probably just dolts, or maybe just heathens.

Also, I think the eye is greed – I don't believe in the devil.
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Andrea came back from lunch after discussing this interesting topic with some co-workers, and decided:
 
Okay, we've decided that the dwarves worship the Nordic Viking gods. You know, Valhalla, Odin, Thor, Freja, etc. Makes sense, drinkers and berserkers...
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I was somewhat offended, since half of my ancestors actually ARE Valhalla, Feja & Thor. (I'm 51% Swedish) This would also make me 51% Dwarf... but I think she's probably right on the money.


Any thoughts from visitors? Or did she hit this one out of the park? Or, was this just a really lame exercise? Comments are always welcome.

Posted by vincent at April 5, 2005 04:20 PM

Comments

See I have to disagree with your friend's final decision on dwarves. You've stayed within the Judeo-Christian tradition on all the others. People of the Word. Then to depart into paganism is a little out of balance and sets the dwarves apart too much.

I suggest the dwarves are some 17th century separatist group, like the dunkers or the Baptists. Get all modern, 20th century, evangelical, right-wing politics religion out of your mind. The old time baptists. Wooden pews and old-time bibles. Stiff collars and simplicity, and low worship for the common man. Craftsmen with dirty fingernails, a work ethic, and well-read, intelligent, and thoughtful.

Posted by: real live preacher at April 6, 2005 08:25 AM

"Dunkers"? That conjures up all sorts of dwarfy images in my head. I'm not a LOR expert... Does any one know if Tolkein's dwarves are well-read and thoughtful?

Loved that comment, RLP!

Posted by: Susan at April 6, 2005 08:57 AM

By the way that my own Baptist family members scorn drinking alcohol in any form is proof enough to me that the dwarves are definately not Baptist.

Posted by: Lauren at April 6, 2005 09:30 AM

Ha! I almost snorted my coffee out of my nose after reading your post, Lauren. Perhaps the dwarves are rowdy cult members.

Posted by: Susan at April 6, 2005 09:38 AM

And we didn't stick entirely with Judeo-Christian. Druids definitely qualify as pagens and according to a Jewish friend of mine, Judeo-Christian is a contradiction in terms and therefore nonexistant.

Posted by: Andrea at April 6, 2005 12:00 PM

I think whether or not "Judeo-Christian" is a contradiction in terms depends on whether you're Jewish or not. From the Christian perspective, the two faiths are intertwined. Paul wrote that the Jewish tradition was the root of the faith, and that the Christianity should be a branch off of it. (If I'm not mistaken.)

Posted by: Susan at April 6, 2005 12:09 PM

Dwarves: Per the Silmarillion, they weren't created by the same main god who created the rest of Tolkien's world, but rather by one of the demi-gods, and were sentenced to be killed, but the main god allowed the dwarves to live when he saw that they could think and feel. Anyway, I don't think that dwarves "have" a religion. Their craft is their religion, and they represent all those artists and craftsmen who make beautiful visible symbols of all the different religions.

Rohirrim: They are Tolkien's Anglo-Saxon/Germanic tribes. I see them as being like Vikings, who had their own pantheon, and then democratically voted to convert to Christianity for trade convenience (something stern like Lutheran), but kept their partying ways to deal with the stress of living so close to Isengard.

Hobbits are mellow Protestants, maybe Methodists... or Episcopalians...

Numenorians/Gondorians: Definitely Roman Catholic (this includes Aragorn). Faramir was Tolkien's alter-ego, so he must share Tolkien's religion, i.e. RC.

Elves are Jews without the long history of persecution.

Wizards, being demi-gods, don't "have" religion, they "are" religion.

Ents are Druids.

Sauron is the devil. All his followers (to include everyone from the Eastern men, orcs, on up to Saruman) are those who follow selfishness, evil, destruction, and darkness rather than compassion, good, creation, and light.

Posted by: Mary at April 7, 2005 03:24 PM