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My Narcissitic Blog

April 13, 2005

ph_apr_tanning.jpg

The subject of blogging and narcissism came up in conversation this week with someone I know. This someone thinks he could never have a blog because it's too "narcissistic". To be honest, up until just before I started blogging my opinion was pretty similar to his. Funny how my viewpoint changed around the time I launched visual-voice. You see, I've gone over to the dark side. I have become one of those heathen narcissists.

Today, I decided I would just hit this question head-on and take the most narcissistic photograph of myself I could think of. The image above is entitled: Me, Myself & I – inside the George Foreman Tanning Grill.

It doesn't get much more self-absorbed, does it?

I guess some people would think I'm cooking myself for vain reasons. I look too happy to be doing something that's rooted in humility. Actually, I'm heading to Mexico soon, and I haven't laid in the sun for so long that my body has no recollection of what a tan line is. I'd rather not burn to a crisp, and end up sick for the first half of my vacation. Of course, I could just be plain weird too. We all come to our own biased conclusions.

I'd like to think that my blog is just as much about art, spirituality, and my quirky and often misguided opinions as it is about me. But.. and Pee Wee Herman would say, "This is a very BIG BUT" I really believe that all art is at least in part, narcissistic. I don't know how I could create something without it representing my viewpoint, my opinion, my view of the world, and my desire to to communicate. We all want to have a voice. We all want to be understood and connected. I'm wondering out loud now... is that narcissism? Does having a blog automatically mean I think my world is better than everyone else's? Are all bloggers self-centered ninnies?

I'm a big fan of Sarah Ban Breathnach's book, Simple Abundance. She suggests starting a gratitude journal, naming 5 thins you're grateful for each day. In an off-handed way, this blog is my gratitude journal. I'm always looking for beauty... sometimes in unexpected places.
Here, I'll go first ~

  1. I'm grateful for my health

  2. I'm grateful for the health of my family and friends.

  3. I'm grateful for my friendship with Andrea (We're going to MEXICO!)

  4. I'm grateful I started this blog. It helps me focus on the positive

  5. I'm grateful that the older I get, the more I realize I really don't know anything at all.

She also suggests creating a creativity map... a map about yourself. It's a tool, you see... to help figure yourself out and understand your world. Instead of bitching and complaining, she invites you to go on the most courageous journey any of us will take ~ a journey toward self discovery.

Wondering out loud again ~ Where is the dividing line between self-discovery, and self-obsession? Is it a relative thing? How does one know? Maybe the secret can be found in being grateful.

6. I'm grateful you're here. I'm amazed that anyone is watching and listening.

{ What are you most grateful for? }

Posted by vincent at April 13, 2005 12:00 AM

Comments

Nice post. I'm a new reader recommended by RLP. I love your photos and they always brighten my day.

Posted by: Lisa at April 12, 2005 11:28 PM

Very honest and true. My own spiritual tradition calls me to fight against this, while at the same time my brain tells me that at some level it will always be about me.

Thus some of the Christian callings for humility. I think these may be a call to "fake it even if you never make it," so to speak.

Posted by: real live preacher at April 13, 2005 08:02 AM

As always I love reading what you have to say. And I love the pic!! However did you manage it?

Posted by: Andrea at April 13, 2005 09:22 AM

My camera flips around so I can take narcissistic shots of myself.
If you'd like to borrow it while you're in the tanning bed, you're welcome to it. Oh.. and if you want, I can post it here! Ha.

Posted by: Susan at April 13, 2005 10:26 AM

You ask about gratitude and comment on narcississm. I am among other things grateful that I find stuff inside me that I want to offer to the world. I am reminded of Kathleen Norris' The Cloister Walk, in which, discussing her choice/call to become an oblate with a Benedictine monastery, she finds that if her god wants her as a gift, then she will give herself even if she doesn't see anything giftworthy about herself. I blog and make art in much the same way--because I am called to do so--and people will read or look if they wish. I will not judge their reasons, or my own. It is what it is, and harms none.


From the other side of the looking-glass: I get so much out of reading the blogs I choose to follow, that I cannot express my gratitude for the generosity of those bloggers, you among them. Your wisdom, grace, whimsy, joy, and art are little pieces of beauty that often open hidden doors into myself or into the world around me. In particular, this blog reminds me to make art outside the written word, and I look forward to each post. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Posted by: raj at April 13, 2005 11:21 AM

I'm grateful for serendipitous wisdom and beauty in unexpected, even narcissistic, places.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 13, 2005 09:25 PM

I have had this same thought myself — "is my blog narcissistic?" But really I look at as a rather brave act. My mother once asked me if it was strange to put so much of my private self out there for the world to see, because she's an intensely private person. But I actually find it quite liberating... and I've made lots of new friends!


LOVE the tanning bed pic.

Posted by: Jen at April 13, 2005 11:02 PM

'Tis true, it is liberating. I also think that the more we share who we really are, the more we'll realize we all have so very much in common.

I forgot to mention how having a blog is a great motivating force in my creative life. I wouldn't shoot as many images, or write as much if it weren't for visual-voice. Creating something every day is a discipline... not unlike a spiritual practice... come to think of it.

Posted by: Susan at April 13, 2005 11:09 PM

There is nothing more correct, creating something every day is a discipline. I start my own blog in Jan, and I found that I had to pay attention to my everyday life so as to keep myself writing something. To me, that is helpful. For I am living in a country of high speed, you do not have time to think/reflect unless you set some apart deliberately. My blog keeps me thinking/reflecting.
By the way, I like your pictures. Thank you.
And if you do want those "ritual shoes", we have something very similar in our country, shoes in red and gold, for wedding though.

Posted by: Noel at April 14, 2005 03:32 AM

I love your blog. A good friend, Martha,Martha ... suggested that I would like your blog. She is right. Your blog is lovely!

I'm new to this blog world and was fascinated by your comments here.

I wonder ... my entire purpose in life is to love others ... or to show the love of my God to others. How can I do that if I do not love myself first? How can I love myself if I do not take a good look at ... and bring healing to ... me?

I guess it is all about me.

lol

Posted by: Carolyn at April 14, 2005 09:22 AM