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Having a MINI–Breakdown
November 12, 2004
No one likes to see the Service Engine Soon warning light go off on their dashboard. Nope... and no one wants to see the dreaded EML light beaming with evil glee at you while STALLED at Connecticut and K in downtown DC .... IN THE POURING RAIN.
What is with my life lately? Nothing goes smoothly like it used to. The needle is stuck in an uncomfortable groove, and I'm tired of this repetitious song. Like the MINI Cooper, I feel a bit stalled.
The only thing I can think of is that I'm learning how to be patient with a capital "P"... make that PATIENCE in all caps in an ultra bold display font. Luckily, it was only the MINI that had an emotional breakdown today... I'm irritated, but holding steady and firm... No one bled, and nobody died.
This has happened before, mind you. Everyone knows I love my car, but I'm pretty miffed at MINI USA at the moment. The exact same thing happened in May, but I was only a block away from my home, so I parked and trotted back to my apartment... it wasn't all that bad. I went online and found out it was really a PREVALENT problem for MINI owners, which led me to wonder... where was the freaking re-call? People were randomly stalling on the highway, at intersections... while making left hand turns in TRAFFIC, for god's sake!
Luckily, after sitting at the intersection for what seemed like an hour, (10 minutes) I re-started the car for the 5th time, and low and behold, the squirrels in the engine had regained just enough strength to get me home – with 1/3 of the normal squirrel power. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure the squirrels are dead. Perhaps MINI could look into upgrading my squirrel software ... an upgrade that actually uhhh, works?
That's what the guy at the dealer way way out in Sterling Virginia said. He blamed it all on cruddy software... but, "hey, once you get it into our service department, the newest upgrade is working GREAT!" I could tell he was almost as irritated as I was. Great... so, MINI is pretending to be Microsoft, distributing beta-level substandard software and waiting for the the driver to sift through using it and finding the bugs!
The biggest problem was getting my car to the dealer (far far away) on a Friday afternoon in the pouring rain. I called MINI roadside assistance, and they asked, "Can you see the car from your apartment?"
"No.. I'm on the other side of the building."
Answer: "STAY with the car, the tow driver may not have a cellphone... make sure you're THERE WITH THE CAR, it may take 90 minutes."
No, I'm not kidding.
So I sat in the car, in the rain for an hour and half. Instead of freaking out, I decided to make the best of it and brought my book, The Artists' Way out to the car to read.
Julia Cameron wrote this gem of a book, and I'm reading a second time in preparation of a workshop she's giving a week from Saturday at the National Cathedral. I sat for an hour reading my book, and it wasn't so bad... The rain was tapping on the sunroof, and I had music playing. It was actually inspiring. I started to feel grateful for being able to make it home. Grateful that the guy in the vehicle behind me sat and waited 'til I got going again. A silent angel making sure I wouldn't be stranded.
But, as it seems to happen so much of the time when you're imperfectly human, the gratitude quickly seeped out of me when the heater died... and the entire electrical system just zonked out.... stereo... EVERYTHING. After sitting for another very cold 20 minutes looking hopefully into the rear-view mirror, I felt anything but grateful. Here, see for yourself:
That's just NOT the face of a gratefully happy MINI Cooper Driver. (Nice hairdo... I'd spent quite a bit of time out in the rain.)
I called after waiting the appointed 90 minutes to find out the truck wouldn't be there for another 90 minutes. I had planned on driving with the tow truck out route 66 to the dealer for a loaner car. But... and this is a BIG BUT, no one willingly drives west on route 66 during evening rush hour on a Friday in the pouring rain. I know my limits.
Is it just me, or is it rather remarkable that for all the MINI Coopers zipping around the nation's capitol, the closest MINI service station is a 40 minute drive away... and that's without traffic?
Update... 8pm. After waiting another 90 minutes, I got a call from a computer saying the tow truck would arrive in an hour. Seroiously... I called around 1:25 this afternoon, and the truck still hadn't arrived at 5pm. You call this Roadside Assistance?
Shame Shame Shame... MINI USA!
Posted by vincent at November 12, 2004 03:39 PM